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Expressing Yourself

All relationships that Abe Lincoln has with the rest of the characters on the show.

Relationships[]

Joan of Arc[]

You're such an honest and true friend. Yeah, even closer than a sister. So close that we could sleep in the same bed and never touch or kiss.
- Abe
Abe Forgets What Joan Was Gunna Say

Joan of Arc has been one of Abe's best friends since childhood. Throughout the the series he is completely unaware that she is obviously in love with him. This is likely due to his over infatuation with Cleo, whom he tries to pursue romantically or his stunning lack of introspection, making him unable to notice the love for him so obvious, that even Gandhi has caught on before him, prevalent in the first and last episodes of the first season.

Another thing that Abe ignores, when it comes to Joan, is her advice and warnings of what he should and shouldn't do in certain situations. Joan's goal is to keep Abe safe and out of trouble, but Abe's lack of wisdom or guidance, lands him in the worst possible places in these situations.

Although they're just friends, Abe is closer to Joan than anyone else (except Gandhi), and finds himself to be far more comfortable and intimate with her, than he is with his girlfriend, Cleo, but that comparison is mostly because of how closed off and indifferent Cleo is. In "Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations", Abe talked to Joan about his relationship issues with Cleopatra and considered her advice, telling him to break up with her, which as explained before, is something he rarely does.

Abe Could Only Get Non-Alcoholic Beet

In "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand", Abe went to school with Joan and Gandhi and the three of them talked as the group of friends they are. Abe also demonstrated complete obliviousness toward Joan's love for him twice. First, when Joan asked Abe if she wanted to go out with a girl who was standing right in front of him but Abe dismissed this, saying he was only interested in Cleo, with the not-so-subtle hint she was dropping going right over his head. Later, Joan told him that she wanted him and Abe asked what she wanted him to do and then forgot what they were talking about. Even Gandhi gave Abe a look, believing Abe should be picking up on Joan's messages.

Joan: Abe I want you.
Abe: You want me to what? ... Forgot what we were talking about. Happens to me all the time.
- Abe missing Joan's love proclamation
Abe Gets What Joan is Saying

In "Episode Two: Election Blu-Galoo", Joan volunteered to be the campaign manager for Abe, when he ran in the school election against JFK. Joan would do her best to assist Abe with making his political propaganda, which was all sponsored by X-Stream Blu, despite thinking that Abe's methods of running for president were too commercialized and just a little big ridiculous. However, Joan eventually gave up on helping Abe, when she saw how he was working as Cleo's puppet. Knowing that Abe's victory would just mean that Cleo would continue being his girlfriend, Joan betrayed him to help out JFK instead. When Abe found out about this, he was mad at Joan and gave her a talking-to on the thinking docks about how she screwed him over.

You know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there's a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most and that's from you backstabbing me. So, maybe instead of the nail metaphor, I should have used a stabbing metaphor but it's too late for that now, isn't it?
- Abe
Two Thinking Docks

Joan later made it up to Abe by calling him a true leader on stage during the presidential debate. She encouraged everyone to vote for Abe, since he knew how to stand up for what he believed in, even if it make him look like a jackass. Abe forgave Joan for how she acted before and thanked her for showing him how to be a real-ass leader.

In "A.D.D.: the Last D is for Disorder", Abe and Joan sat together at lunch, with Gandhi. They didn't interact much this episode, although Joan did shed a single tear, as she witnessed Abe and Cleo making out in the rose garden.

Abe Lincoln Wants Joan of Arc to Write From Her HEart

In "Film Fest: Tears of a Clone", Abe noticed that Joan was upset over him loving Cleo instead of herself. However, Abe didn't understand why and assumed her qualms were with the then-relevant Clone High Film Festival being too commercialized. Abe strongly encouraged Joan to express herself in her film at the film fest. Abe knew that Joan had something deep within her heart she needed expressed and that the only way for her to properly exhibit her feelings would have been in her artwork.

Joan created the silent film "The Truth Wears Sideburns", which subtly detailed her love for Abe and she was prepared to show her film. However, Abe came in and kept calling her "friend", "pal", "bro", and "man", while also describing his relationship with Cleo. Joan realized that she was being friendzoned and gave up on showing her film, as she feared that if she publicly declared her love for Abe, especially in front of the entire school, it would make things awkward between them. Joan threw her film in the trash but Abe found it and entered it into the film fest without her permission.

This is a sign, Joan. If you don't express yourself, you'll just keep saying 'fine' when someone asks you how you are. And then one day, someone will say 'how are you, Joan?' and you know what your answer will be? ... There won't be one ... Because you'll be dead.
- Abe

On the night of the film fest, Joan noticed her film was on the playbill and tried to get Abe to remove it. Abe refused, saying that all of this emotional repression could possibly kill her and that actually showing the film could change the world, which was exactly what Joan was afraid of. When the film was finally shown to everyone, its message was subtle enough that everybody (except Sigmund Freud) completely missed it. Joan was relieved at Abe's ignorance to the film's meaning and was glad that they could remain friends, even after all of this.

Abe is Too Tired For Shopping

In "Sleep of Faith: La Ru D'Awakening", Joan begged Abe numerous times to stop depriving himself of sleep just to help Cleo study for the PXJTs, but Abe refused to this time and time again, keeping himself awake for weeks. This caused problems for Abe, making his reflexes get shot. Joan worried that Abe could get into a car accident, while driving, which he almost did. Ultimately, Abe's sleep deprivation led to him falling asleep during the PXJTs, failing the test and ruining his chances of getting into Clone State.

Abe: I'll sleep when I die!
Joan: You'll die if you don't sleep!
- Abe and Joan arguing over sleep deprivation.

Joan and Gandhi came to Abe's house later and gave him an intervention regarding his sleep-deprivation habit. Joan told Abe a huge secret, which is that she used to have a sleep-deprivation problem, herself and had to get sent to a sleepaway camp last summer to get rehabilitated. Abe finally took Joan's advice and finally gave himself a night of shuteye, only to later get up in the middle of the night to go do a drag race against JFK at Dead Man Slick Mountain Cliff Road. Joan tried to stop Abe from going through with this but Abe ignored her once again. This was all until Abe witnessed JFK crash his car and injure himself in the streets, which finally convinced Abe to take a night of napping before continuing about the drag race.

Abe: Thanks, Joan. Wherever you are.
Joan: I'm right here.
Abe: So you are, Joan. So you are.
- Abe thanking Joan after winning the race.
Abe Jacket

In "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc", Joan went in disguise as a boy named "John Dark" so that she could infiltrate the boys' basketball team. Abe quickly grew to despise "Joan" since he diverted Cleo's attention toward him and soon made her fall for him instead of Abe. As John, Joan tried to convince Abe to go out with Joan. Abe took this into consideration for a second but then came to the conclusion that John was only telling Abe this to get him away from Cleo, so that he could have her all to himself.

Joan of Arc? Well, she's smart, loyal, pretty, and I delight in her caustic wit. Wow, me and Joan. Somehow, that doesn't sound so crazy.
- Abe briefly considering dating Joan.
Abe Laughs Joan Kisses (Redone)

In "Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations", Abe told Joan about how he was planning to have his (second) first kiss with Cleo but wanted to make sure everything was going to be perfect. Joan told him that a first kiss shouldn't be planned but it should instead happen naturally. Joan attempted to make this a segue into her pantsing a kiss with him, herself. Abe completely misunderstood what Joan was doing and laughed his head off at this, telling Joan that her "fake infatuation bit" never fails to amuse him.

In "A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm", Abe heard about how Joan's House was burned down and checked on her to see if she was okay. Joan told Abe that she was fine and didn't want his pity. Cleo took this as an opportunity to be a condescending bitch toward Joan and give her handouts like canned food, causing a big fight between the two of them. Abe stopped the conflict, saying that he doesn't want his two favorite girls in his life to fight like this.

Now, I love you both. One, in a completely platonic way and the other with a fiery passion that most people know but once in a lifetime. By the way, that one's not you, Joan. It's Cleo.
- Abe
Abe Tries to Mediate the Conflict

When Joan moved in with Cleo, the two continued to fight. Abe came in to try and solve their conflict in an efficient manner, using a "trust game". Abe encouraged Joan to fall backwards into Cleo's arms, which unexpectedly, led to Cleo letting Joan drop to the floor. Abe left the room before the event played out because he was overly confident that it would work out positively.

Upon finding out later that this didn't work, Abe tried again to solve the conflict by having them paint their emotions. However, they ended up painting a dividing line through the middle of the room ... horizontally, with Joan taking the upper half of the room and Cleo taking the lower half. All they did was battle even more, leaving Abe desperately trying and failing to resolve their conflict.

Joan in the north and Cleo in the south, hear me when I say, 'a bedroom divided against itself can not stand'.
- Abe

After taking some advice from an animatronic of the Original Abraham Lincoln at Mr. Lincoln's Mild Ride, Abe learned the right way to resolve the conflict, by reciting the Gettysburg Address. Abe did a horrible job at it and ended up botching it all completely. However, this still helped Joan and Cleo to put an end to their rivalry and instead repress their differences with an unspoken hatred for each other. This did not last long.

Joan Treats Abe

In "Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts", Abe and Joan ran an anti-drug seminar together. During this episode, Joan would keep on violently pressuring Abe to stay away from Cleo, only to be completely ignored by him. Joan was also disappointed to hear that Abe was smoking raisins, which went against everything he initially stood for. Joan later coddled Abe after he fell off the fence and came to the epiphany that raisins were bad. Joan was glad that Abe was on board and enacted her plan to end raisins once and for all. This plan would be to light up all the raisins in a burning fire, which got all the PTA members around it to get high, themselves. The teachers and foster parents started to enjoy the raisins, which made them uncool to the teenagers and got them all to stop smoking raisins altogether and do crack instead.

In "Litter Kills: Litterally", Joan looked upon Abe and Cleo eating a making out while a single french fry together, and expressed a mixture of disgust and a degree of mild confusion. She didn't like how Abe had completely lost his identity to the popular kids at this point, but was ultimately taken aback by just how odd and gross these popular kid traditions even were, wondering why they even existed.

Joan Kisses Abe for Crying

After the tragic death of Ponce de León, Abe went to Joan/Cleo's House to grieve with her. The two of them had a very overdramatic, eloquently-worded discussion about their emotions. Abe talked about how he was mad at JFK during this time for taking Cleo from him but didn't realize how insensitive he was being to a grieving man. Joan encouraged Abe to go to JFK and apologize to him. Abe broke down and started crying and Joan kissed him on the forehead to make him feel better.

Joan: When we cast our love into the sea of human emotions, sometimes what we catch ... is in fate's hands.
Abe: I never asked to be a fisherman in such a sea as this.
- Joan and Abe

At the end of the episode, Joan helped Abe and his friends clean up all the litter on the ground. Abe and Cleo made out again, while Joan sat and sadly watched from from a distance.

Abe Gives Joan a Taco

In "Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Special", Abe and Joan's direct interactions were rather limited. At the start of the episode, Abe talked about Snowflake Day with Joan but she was clearly not interested in the holiday, hating everything about it and completely missing why Abe was so cripes-darn happy about Snowflake Day. Abe later attended the Snowflake Day Party at Joan/Cleo's house, where Joan was the designated "cracker girl".

Joan: I don't need some guy in rented pants taking me to a dance.
Abe: DAAAAAANCE!? Joan, you know the expression "Prom is the single most important moment in your life?"
Joan: No.
Abe: Well, now you DO! You wanna be president? Well, you'd better go to prom because all of them did! Plus, prom is where everyone goes up a base, sex wise.
- Abe tries to help Joan get excited about prom.
Joan's First Makeover

In "Makeover Makeover Makeover: the Makeover Episode", Joan expressed a complete disinterest in the upcoming winter prom and Abe worried for her, believing that prom was the single most important thing in the world. Even though Joan made it abundantly clear to Abe that she didn't want to go to prom with anyone, he still desperately wanted her to find a date for the prom and worked tirelessly on getting her a date. Abe was so dead set on getting Joan a date, that he completely forgot he was supposed to ask Cleo to prom, himself.

Abe called Joan over to his house with an important prom question he wanted to ask her. This got Joan excited, as she thought this meant he was gunna ask her out. However, he only asked her over there so that he could give her a makeover, so he could make her look more attractive and win the attention of some other guy. Abe did a horrible job at giving her a makeover, taking advice from Kosmo, Med Journal, and Sci Fi Gore on how to gussy her up. This ended up making Joan look like a complete freak, causing her to flip out and run away, screaming.

Abe: Joan, would you make me the happiest guy on earth and accompany me to ... the mirror so I can give you a makeover so some other guy will go to prom with you?
Joan: Oh, Abe, of course, I'd love-Uh, make what now?
Abe: Don't thank me yet. We've got a lot of work to do ... a LOT of work.
- Abe and Joan
Cleo with her Makeover at Thinking Docks

Abe followed Joan down to the thinking docks to see Joan crying. Joan told him that she used to feel good about herself before she met him. Abe told Joan that he can make her feel good about herself if she'd just le him work more on changing every single aspect of her physical appearance so that she can look traditionally attractive. Joan told Abe that she doesn't want to look beautiful and just wants to him. Abe missed what she meant by this and told her that he had already produced a bunch of fliers for her to help recruit some guys to go to prom with her.

Abe: Joan, you're so close. I can almost see the beauty that is locked away inside of you, hidden far, far below the surface, where no one can see it.
Joan: I don't wanna be beautiful, Abe. I just want you!
Abe: To get you a prom date! I'm two to three steps ahead of you, Joan.
- Abe and Joan
Abe has Another Question for Joan

Abe came down to Joan's House to tell her that she found a possible candidate for her prom date, this being homeless old man named Emmett under the highway, who only agreed to to be her prom date in exchange for some rubbing alcohol. Upon arrival, however, Abe was astonished to see Joan's new makeover that Cleo gave her. He was blown away by just how beautiful she was, telling her that she looked like an angel, a hot angel to be exact. Because of this, he thought that Joan was now presentable to more options for suitors. At this point, Cleo told Abe that she was fed up with him wasting all this time helping Joan and that he needed to start working on her promposal, stat.

The next day at school, Abe fell asleep in class and dreamed about asking out Cleo to prom via elaborate promposal, only for Cleo to turn into Joan and accept his promposal. The name "Cleo" on the promposal banner would flash to "Joan" and back rapidly, as Abe would start to spaz out and eventually wake up with a fright. This left him to question the meaning of his dream. However, Abe would ultimately ignore this cryptic dream and go on to ask out Cleo to prom.

Abe and Joan Before the Prom

In "Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale", Abe went up to a now made-over Joan at school and told her that Cleo was now going to prom with him, much to Joan's crushing disappointment. Abe told Joan that he'd be having sex with Cleo at prom too and asked her if she could give him any advice on how girls' parts work. Realizing that Abe was just not expressing any attraction toward her, Joan decided to accept JFK's promposal in front of Abe to try and make him jealous. Abe found himself kind of feeling a little empty, when he witnessed Joan and JFK together but still not quite understanding his budding feelings for Joan, he ignored it and continued about sex-prepping for his night with Cleo.

You and JFK, huh? ... That's cool ... I'm so ... psyched for you guys ............ WELP, I'M OFF TO BUY SOME CONDOMS!
- Abe
Joan at prom

While Abe picked up Cleo for prom and watched as JFK picked up Joan for prom, Abe slowly but surely started considering his feelings for Joan, and this got him going down the path to putting her on the same pedestal as Cleopatra. At the prom, Abe ended up focusing more on Joan than he did on Cleo and even started accidentally saying Joan's name, when he was referring to Cleo.

Abe: Right ... I'm definitely not nervous about sleeping with Joan.
Gandhi: Uh, ... Cleo?
Abe: Who?
Gandhi: What?
- Abe and Gandhi on sex with their prom dates

Abe went back to the private suite to have sex with Cleo. However, when he was about to do the deed, he ended up saying "Joan" instead of "Cleo", which pissed Cleo off. Cleo demanded Abe say her name but Abe found himself physically incapable of properly saying "Cleo", instead just verbally defaulting to "Joan". He even starting hallucinating little floating Joan heads over Cleo's junk. Abe was still not quite sure what this could mean, until Cleo pointed out to him that he was in love with Joan. After a few more seconds of thinking, Abe was finally struck with the realization that he was truly in love with Joan. He then abandoned Cleo in her bed and ran off to pursue his true love for Joan.

I think I might be in love with Joan! Do you think there's a chance she returns my feelings?
- Abe
Abe Frozen

Abe ran around the prom area, butt-naked, trying to find Joan and finally confess his feelings for her. However, when he finally located her in the flash freezer, he realized he was just barely too late, now that Joan had just slept with JFK, having given up on trying to get his attention. Abe was in absolute shock over what he was witnessing but despite seeing her with Kennedy, he began to profess his love, anyway. Shortly after this, everyone involved was frozen in the flash freezer for 20 years.

But, Joan I love ... J-Cl
- Abe
There she is, Gandhi. Joan of Arc, the love of my life. For years, I took her for granted. That stops now. It's time for me to tell her how I feel, Gandhi! I mean, it's 2003. Guys shouldn't be afraid to talk about their feelings!
- Abe
Abe Watching Joan Walk

In Season 2, Abe and Joan were finally defrosted after 20 years and they finally got to continue the drama. The next day at school, there was a complete role-reversal in their previously established relationship. Now, Abe had a huge crush on Joan but she didn't notice his feelings for her and was far more invested in JFK. Abe felt painfully uncomfortable with the fact that Joan had sex with JFK but he still bravely fought back tears, while he saw the girls of his dreams fraternize with his worst enemy. Just like before, Abe was losing the girl he loved to JFK and had to keep his feelings bottled up and stay in the friendzone with Joan.

Abe is Making His Own Unity Luncheon

Abe later joined the Inclusivity Committee with Joan and her new friends Harriet Tubman and Frida Kahlo. However, Abe soon got himself in trouble by using outdated terminology, which resulted in him getting sent to the Cancelled Corner. Abe lashed out at Joan for not coming to his support, while she let her new friends cancel her and was appalled at how Joan was losing her identity to the popular kids now, when it used to be that they would make fun of social elites like that. Joan justified this, by saying that the popular kids are nicer than the old popular kids because now they treat her with respect.

Abe is Sad

Abe got back at Joan by throwing a huge party called the Luncheon for Unity, which was supposed to draw attention away from her Inclusivity Committee's Unity Luncheon. Harriet and Frida were so mad at Joan for something that Abe did and canceled her too. Abe felt bad about how he acted and how this affected Joan, so he made it up to her by having everyone pour hot wing sauce into his scarred up hands. Joan was so happy about this, that she forgave him and at the end of the episode, she told him that no matter what happens between them, they'll always be friends. Shortly after that, Joan became JFK's girlfriend, much to the heartbreak of Abe.

I'm sorry, Joan. I don't know much about this crazy new world we're living in but I do know that you make it a better place. I really hope we can be friends again.
- Abe
CRAAAAAZY Dream About Abe

As soon as "Sleepover", Joan realized that despite dating JFK, she was still madly in love with Abe, as he kept invading her wet dreams about JFK. She confessed this secret to Harriet and Frida and they kept this between themselves. Abe, was of course, left in the dark about this revelation and Joan was still oblivious to how Abe was in love with her. This lack of communication made things very awkward for them both as Joan would keep avoiding Abe in the halls, when he was just trying to show her his lighthouse impression.

Abe Fears Getting Old

In "Anxious Times at Clone High", Abe's repressed feelings for Joan were thrown into even more of a whirl as he watched her make out with JFK in the schoolyard. Abe said that he loved Joan and wanted her to be happy but also admitted that he doesn't want her to be happy with JFK, as this would mean that she'd never be his girlfriend. This gave him tons of anxiety about Joan and JFK being together for the rest of their lives, while he grew up to become a rickety old man with gross skeletal fingernails, who'll die alone.

Abe Supports Joan

Abe ran into Joan in the halls later and she asked him what he thought about her new JoanFK Necklace that JFK gave her. Although Abe thought that the necklace was amazing, he lied and told her that she was losing her identity to JFK, hoping that this would lead to her dumping him. He felt kind of guilty about this later, worrying his decision was selfish and not supportive.

I think you've changed. The Joan I used to know would never wear the necklace and would definitely keep her options open, dating-wise.
- Abe

While everyone was getting attacked by the Heebie Jeebie, Abe would throw himself in front of Joan to protect her, which got him dragged away by the Heebie Jeebie. Abe apologized to Joan for being such a terrible friend to her but Joan assured him that he was a great friend. It was also made clear that Abe felt like he would never be loved by Joan, although Joan didn't pick up on this.

Abe: I've already revealed a lot but just in case, I'm afraid no one will ever love me. Especially not the person I'm secretly in love with and her name is-
Ian: Stop!
- Abe gets cut off by Ian Ziering.
Abe Gets Yassified

In "The Crown: Joancoming: It’s a Cleo, Cleo, Cleo, Cleo World", Abe complimented Joan's Homecoming Float that she made with Frida. He later winced and felt incredibly uncomfortable, when he witnessed Joan making out with JFK but he tried to hide his pain by good-naturedly laughing it off. Abe would later get brainwashed by Cleo and her Stone of Eternal Servitude so that he would start wearing a crop top and gaucho pants around school and also start talking like Cleo. When Joan saw this, she was completely astounded that Abe was acting so out-of-character. Joan later teamed up with Confucius to defeat Cleo and break Abe and everyone else free from Cleo's spell.

In "Some Talking but Mostly Songs", Abe loomed over Joan in rehearsals for the play Twister: The Game: The Musical until Joan convinced Harriet to give him the role of Mayor Spinner in the play. Abe was also part of the group hug with Joan and all of her friends at the end of the episode.

Blood Pact

Despite not getting to be her boyfriend, Abe still remained a true and loyal friend to Joan in "Saved by the Knoll", supporting her when he had a nostalgia-induced Psylly Legs attack and keeping her disorder a secret from her friends, which she had sealed with a blood pact. He worked tirelessly to have Joan's favorite restaurant, The Grassy Knoll, rebuilt in her honor. During this time, Abe also witnessed JFK cheating on Joan with Harriet and kept this a secret from her, knowing the truth would hurt her, which would have been especially damaging in her current state. When Joan found out the truth, she resented Abe for keeping this secret from her and shut him out as a friend, entirely. This was devastating to Abe and made him sink into a deep depression.

Abe would cry about losing Joan and rant about her endlessly. However, Joan would eventually come around to forgive him in "Spring Broken", after Abe apologized to her, even though deep down, he still believed he did nothing wrong. In the same episode, Joan broke up with JFK.

Joan and Abe at the Lake

Now that Joan was single and ready to mingle, in "Sexy-Ed", she started to pursue Abe once again. Unfortunately, Abe was being blackmailed by Topher Bus, who was also in love with Joan and wanted him out of the way so that he could have her to himself. This meant that when Joan led Abe on, Abe had to reject her, breaking Joan's heart and leading her to cry in the swimming pool, now feeling completely alone and unloved by everyone.

In "Clone Alone", Joan was so mad at the entire world for betraying her so she sabotaged all of them in the Death Maze. After this happened, she became the most hated girl in school by everyone, including Abe, who was certainly not in love with her anymore.

Gandhi[]

Abe and Gandhi High Five

Gandhi is Abe's best friend and the only other person he's willing to put in the same spotlight as Joan. Abe is just as close to Gandhi as Joan, but some would argue his bond with Gandhi is stronger. The key difference that sets Gandhi's companionship apart from Joan's, is that Abe spends more time joking and goofing around with Gandhi, with the two of them being a lot more laid back and adventurous together.

In more serious moments of their friendship, Abe and Gandhi prove to care deeply about the well-beings of each other. Gandhi's safety is of upmost importance to Abe, and Abe is willing to put his life on the line to save him, and Gandhi returns the feeling. In "Sleep of Faith: La Ru D'Awakening" Gandhi and Joan give Abe an intervention about his sleeping habits, and in "A.D.D.: the Last D is for Disorder" Abe kisses Gandhi in front of everyone so that Gandhi will be accepted again.

Abe and Gandhi's Locket Memories

In "A.D.D.: the Last D is for Disorder", the solidity of their friendship was expounded upon, showing how their bond between them a strong and firmly founded one. Their everlasting companionship is engraved in metal with their "Best Dudes 4 Ever" lockets, that will forever preserve their brotherhood. It was also revealed that Abe and Gandhi's friendship dates way back to when they were babies, in a flashback of them playing in the bathtub. Their friendship hit a big bump in the road here, causing them to break up. However, it was obvious that the two of them were both hurting and emotionally torn apart by this separation, and it didn't take long for Abe to resolve the conflict, and reunite them once again.

Abe and Gandhi S2 relationship
Huh? I thought I was talking to my comedic sidekick Gandhi. Let me know if you see him, Turkey Fire Hydrant.
- Abe

After being defrosted many of the first generation clones don't seem to notice or care that Gandhi isn't present with them. While the in-universe explanation is that Candide Sampson erased all the frozen clone's memories of Gandhi, Abe seems to have been the only one not affected by it as he mentions Gandi in some episodes of season 2 and 3:

Cleo[]

Cleo and I have been dating for two weeks now. If I don't follow her to JFK's van, she might hook up with someone else. It's called trust, Joan.
- Abe
Clabe Kiss

Abe is deeply in love with Cleo, a crush he first acted on, starting with his first day of Sophomore year in "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand". Despite Cleo being generic and superficial, and devoid of interior beauty, Abe still sees her as a smart, nice, and loving girl. Abe "admires her commitment to community services", which refers to her being school president. Abe is sadly oblivious to how selfish and uncaring Cleo is but Cleo recognizes Abe's attraction to her, which she sees as a perfect way for her to use her sexual appeal to dominate and manipulate him into doing her bidding.

In the first few episodes, Cleo kept changing her mind between Abe and JFK, wondering who she really wanted to be with. After breaking up with JFK (for real this time) in "A.D.D.: the Last D is for Disorder", Cleo was more open to Abe. Cleo led Abe on and teased him for a few episodes after the breakup, for instance, completely using Abe in "Sleep of Faith: La Ru D'Awakening", but never really agreed to a relationship. Finally, after buying her an expensive Letterman Jacket, Cleo finally started dating Abe in "Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations".

Abe's relationship with Cleo, sparks the envy of Joan. She opposes their togetherness, but not just out of jealousy, but because she's aware of how superficial it is. Joan knows how Cleo uses Abe, and she's has urged him many times not to follow everything she says, but Abe never listens and continues to become Cleo's puppet. Abe is unfortunately very passionate about Cleo and he once described there relationship as "A fiery passion most people know but once in a life time". He's grown too attached to her, after such a short time, and even bought her a Snowflake Day present on "Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Special", after only dating her for three weeks, a time he considers long enough for them to be true lovers.

Abe and Cleo's Epic Makeout

Near the ending of "Makeover Makeover Makeover: the Makeover Episode", for the first time, Abe really reflected on his feelings for Joan and compared her to Cleo. It was at this time, he became partial to both of them, and struggled with deciding who to take to the prom. His decision was finalized, by the cliffhanger of the episode and in "Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale", it was revealed his final decision was Cleo. That night, just as Abe and Cleo were starting to get sexually intimate, Abe found himself addressing Cleo as "Joan" and hallucinating Cleo's genitals as Joan heads. Abe finally realized that he no longer had feelings for Cleo and now knew he had much deeper feelings for Joan. Abe broke it off with Cleo at this point, and moved on to Joan. Sadly, by the time he finally asked out Joan, she was already in bed with Cleo's ex-boyfriend, JFK. At this dramatic moment, Abe, Joan, Cleo, and everyone else relevant to the story were all together in the Flash Freezer, where they were frozen solid by Principal Scudworth. The final thing Abe said, before this everlasting cliffhanger was a final "I love you". Not to Cleo, not to Joan, but "J-Cl".

In "Let's Try This Again", which took place 20 years later, Abe was finally defrosted and it was revealed that he was going to say "Joan" after all. From this point on, Abe and Cleo's relationship was never continued, mentioned, or referenced ever again, despite all the anger Cleo was feeling for Abe at the time she was frozen. Their interactions throughout Season 2 were all very minor and trivial and displayed no visible conflict or remaining romantic interest from either side, whatsoever.

JFK[]

Lincoln, I've got dibs on that Cleopatra broad so back off! She's numbers 1 and 2, on my list of 150 women to bang this year!
- JFK
Abe Had Better Put His Money Where His Mouth Is

JFK and Abe have had an ongoing rivalry since the first episode, "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand", where they first started fighting over the heart of Cleo. JFK told Abe to stay out of the way of Cleopatra, since she's a very prominent figure on his "bang list" for that year but this didn't stop Abe from crashing the party, where he won Cleo's heart by bringing beer. When Cleo saw Abe as a potential pawn for manipulating, she chose him over JFK, much to the latter's anger.

In "Episode Two: Election Blu-Galoo", JFK planned to get Cleo back, by winning the school election. However, Abe was his opposing candidate, so he had a lot on the line. JFK ran a slanderous smear campaign against Abe that spread blatant lies about him to promote his agenda. Abe's political propaganda was funded by The X-Stream Blu Crew, who turned his candidacy into a huge, elaborate as for their product. During the presidential debate, Cleo would waffle between Abe and JFK. In the end, Abe and JFK both lost the election to a puppy dog, who Cleo tried to seduce, only for the animal to reject her.

In "Sleep of Faith: La Ru D'Awakening", Abe and JFK continued to compete over Cleopatra, with both of them trying to one-up each other in preparation for the PXJTs. Abe kept forcing himself to stay away to help Cleo study, worrying that if he blew her off even once, she would fall right back into the arms of JFK. This ultimately ended in a drag race between the two of them. Abe was horribly sleep deprived during this race, making him lag behind JFK and also swerve around on the streets, aimlessly. Abe realized he had no choice but to finally pull his car aside and take a refreshing and much-needed nap. JFK blew right past him and laughed in his face, realizing that he had an easy win, only for his cockiness to get the best of him and for him to go so fast, that upon hitting a small speed bump, he flipped over in his car and crashed it, crippling himself for the rest of the episode. The next day, Abe woke up from his nap and nicely drove across the finish line, winning the grand prize of Cleopatra, while JFK was left unconscious and bloody.

In "Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts", JFK started to win Cleo over again by smoking raisins with her. Abe had to keep himself in the popular crowd by smoking raisins or else JFK would steal Cleo from him. Despite getting high and joining Cleo's psychedelic, new age, raisin-smoking, hippie sex cult, JFK still managed to interrupt them during an attempted sexual encounter by driving up in his van and trying to take Cleo away from him, before he had a drug-induced freakout and jumped through the sky window.

In "Litter Kills: Litterally", JFK once again called out Cleo for letting a tall, lankly knucklehead such as Abe lick the inside of her mouth. JFK would bully Abe and treat him like one of the uncool kids because he wasn't brave enough to litter like the rest of them, leading Abe to have to compromise his principles and pollute the earth, to help improve his status in the eyes of JFK and Cleo. When JFK's best friend in the entire world, Ponce de León died, he would cry and grieve, farming tons of sympathy from Cleopatra. Cleo would spend a lot of time, comforting JFK, hugging and kissing him and leaving Abe completely unattended. Abe got pissed off about this and figured that JFK was taking Cleo from him once again, only this time, he couldn't really do anything about it because he'd be an asshole for getting mad at a guy who's friend just died.

Well, I'll just leave you two alone cuz it looks like you're about to DO IT, anyway!
- Abe
The Meaning of Goodbye

Later in the episode, Abe let his humanity get the best of him and put his hatred for JFK aside, so that he could comfort him, during his mourning over the tragic loss of Ponce. Though Abe didn't know entirely what he say, he still hugged JFK and let him cry it all out. The worst of JFK's problems was that the last thing Ponce said to him before he died was that he hated him. Abe helped him by revealing that the last thing he said to him before death is that JFK was a pretty cool dude. This helped cheer JFK up big time.

I'm sorry about how I've been acting. I don't really know what to say so I'm just gunna hug you and hold you for a really long time.
- Abe

For once, Abe and JFK had a moment and treated each other humanely. Their rivalry seemed to end from then on and JFK decided to stop getting in the way of Abe and Cleo's relationship. From then on, Abe and JFK remained friendly acquaintances.

Abe would start to have a deep-rooted conflict with JFK again at the end of "Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale", when he realized he was in love with Joan and walked in on him having sex with her, when he was about to profess his feelings for her. After a brief 20-year-cryogenic-freezing, Abe would go on to envy JFK for dating the girl he loves again, only now, given the circumstances, he knew to keep this to himself, as seen in "Let's Try This Again".

In "Clone Alone", JFK found out Abe was in love with Joan but at this time, he had already broken up with her, so he was completely supportive of him going after her and even helped him get closer to her by destroying some evidence that Topher was using to blackmail him into staying away from her.

Topher Bus[]

Abe and Topher Switch Shoes

Topher was one of the first second generation clones Abe befriended after being defrosted in "Let's Try This Again". Upon first meeting each other, Topher took note of how Abe used problematic slang from the early 2000's (i.e. "gay", "retarded", "spaz") and warned him that he'd get cancelled if he kept talking like that. Abe ignored his advice and ended up getting cancelled.

In "Sleepover", Abe went over to Topher's House for a sleepover and ended up leaving early, being disturbed by how monstrous Topher was acting on the internet, saying extremely offensive and hurtful things to JFK in a flame war.

Abe's friendship with Topher eventually turned into a rivalry in "Sexy-Ed", when Topher ended up tricking Abe into pursuing a sexual relationship with Mrs. Grumbles so that he could photograph him in compromising position with her and use it to blackmail him, (although he preferred to use the more PC term, "white leverage"). Topher revealed he had a crush on Joan and needed to use this incriminating evidence to keep Abe out of his way. This also gave Topher complete and total power over Abe, wherein he'd treat him like a slave. This finally came to an end in "Clone Alone", when JFK found out what was going on and helped his buddy by destroying Topher's phone between his buttcheeks so that Abe could be free to pursue Joan again.

Confucius[]

Abe and Confucius at the Thinking Docks

Abe and Confucius are casual friends with each other and in the absence of Gandhi, Abe turns to Confucius for sage advice. Like Gandhi, Confucius' advice to Abe is generally foolish misinformation gets Abe into even more trouble. In "Let's Try This Again", Abe went to the Thinking Docks, where he told Confucius his scenario of getting cancelled. Confucius offered the wise advice that Abe should just apologize in a crappy overproduced FlipFlop video.

In "Sleepover", Abe and Confucius had fun together, getting into a "rock fight", a game, where they hit each other in the nuts with rocks. In "Some Talking but Mostly Songs", Confucius worked together with some other people of color to steal some sweat from Abe and obtain his white guy confidence. In "Clone Alone", Confucius worked together with Abe, JFK, and Topher to get through the Death Maze. However, they all got distracted with a game of basketball, (that Joan set up for them as a trap), which led to their downfall.

Harriet Tubman[]

Abe Grabs Harriet

Not much is known about Abe and Harriet's relationship as their direct interactions are limited. They only really ever hang out as a group, sharing Joan of Arc as a mutual friend. They have little to nothing else in common beyond that. Whenever they do interact, Harriet usually isn't too kind to Abe, generally considering him to be dorky and problematic and overall irrelevant in her life.

Abe first met Harriet Tubman in "Let's Try This Again", where she allowed him to join the Inclusivity Committee, only to regret her decision, upon hearing all of Abe's outdated problematic language. Harriet would eventually disregard Abe as being politically incorrect and kick him out of the group. Despite the fact that Harriet doesn't like Abe, she still tolerates him, as he is a mutual friend of her new best friend, Joan of Arc. Abe seems to be pretty oblivious to the fact that Harriet low-key hates him.

In "Anxious Times at Clone High", Abe warned Harriet about the Heebie Jeebie being in the girls' bathroom and Harriet told him that he should use his common sense and stop freaking out over nothing. She then started to freak out, herself, when she panicked about not being prepared for the upcoming Pre-Midterms. Abe shushed Harriet and let her know that the Heebie Jeebie feeds off stress.

In "Some Talking but Mostly Songs", Harriet invited Abe, along with her other fiends to her house to watch Tropical Hospital. Harriet was also hesitant to cast Abe as "Mayor Spinner" in "Twister: The Game: The Musical" but she eventually came around to the idea and Abe ended up playing him in the play.

In "Blinded With Pseudoscience: Magnetic Distractions", Abe burned Harriet's project on magnets, deeming it worthless kindling.

In "Bible Humpers: A Much Needed Praycation", Abe pretended to be God at the school church. Harriet went down to confess to "God" about how she cheated on Confucius with Toussaint Louverture and asked how to break the news to him. As God, Abe told Harriet that she kind of just did, as Confucius had walked in without her knowing and just heard everything she said.

In "The Principal Principle: Sub Zero to Sub Hero", Abe and Harriet played hacky sack in the same group.

In "Grave Mistakes: The Virgin Homicides", Harriet helped Joan to save Abe from getting killed by Bloody Mary. Harriet didn't seem to care much about Abe's well-being and only did this because Joan wanted her to. Deep down, Harriet just assumed that Joan was only doing this because she loved Abe. She went all the way down to the Exclamation Cemetery to chant "Bloody Mary" 6,969 times to save him. Harriet would later print in the Clone High Tatler, that Abe was still a virgin.

Frida Kahlo[]

Abe: How do you stay so chill? I mean, you got pre-midterms like the rest of us AND you've gotta live up to one of the coolest artists ever.
Frida: I just channel my anxiety into something more productive, you know? Like, murals for sick children.
- Abe and Frida
Abe and Frida Rock Together

Abe and Frida are somewhat friendly with each other, with Abe being a casual but friendly acquaintance to her. However, Frida doesn't hold Abe in high regards, viewing him as an annoying, problematic white man with too much "confidence". Despite this, Abe and Frida still get along most of the time and help each other out in times of need.

Frida Cancels Abe

In "Let's Try This Again", Frida first met Abe, when being introduced to him as a mutual of her new friend, Joan. Frida welcomed Abe into the Inclusivity Committee and assigned him to take care of the Unity Luncheon. However, Abe gave himself a bad look in front of Frida, when he started using a bunch of offensive and problematic language in front of her, leading to Frida declaring Abe "cancelled" and kicking him out of the committee. Abe would later publicly apologize for his horrible behavior by going into the middle of the schoolyard and charging everybody one dollar each to drop some hot wing sauce into a bunch of open paper cuts on his fingers. Frida was moved by Abe's ridiculous gesture and forgave him.

Love in the Tup

In "Anxious Times at Clone High", Frida invited Abe over to her house to help teach him how to reduce stress and be chill like her. At her house, they both took a bath together with their clothes on and cucumbers over their eyes. This helped both of them to relax and get rid of their anxiety. However, the Heebie Jeebie then showed up in the bathroom to haunt them, scaring them both and making them feel more stressed out than ever before. Abe and Frida escaped into the streets and skateboarded off to Clone High High School together to escape the Heebie Jeebie.

In "Some Talking but Mostly Songs", Frida sang an entire musical number about Abe, where she labeled his personality as "White Guy Confidence". She described Abe as an average, substandard individual, whose ego has been inflated monumentally on account of all the undeserved praise and honor he gets from society, despite his incompetence and ignorance. Frida also shoehorned in a lot of political propaganda, suggesting that Abe is being treated better by the police and the judicial system because of his white privilege. Overall, Frida made it clear that she regards Abe as being nothing more than a stupid, narcissistic, uncultured white male, who gets everything he wants. This suggests that Frida either doesn't spend enough time with him to know who he is or that she lets her racial and sexual prejudices toward him cloud any honest judgement of his character.

Abe and Frida Argue

In "Spring Broken", Abe asked Frida if she he could go with her and Cleopatra on their journey to escape the Desert in search of civilization (specifically Arroyo Fest). Frida initially declined until Cleo pointed out that they could sit on Abe's shoulders to get a good view of Mila Brulee at the concert. Frida then allowed Abe to come along but would soon grow really annoyed with Abe's endless yammering about how Joan unfriended him in the previous episode. Frida suggested that Abe just apologize to Joan for keeping Harriet and JFK's affair a secret from her but Abe completely disagreed, saying that it should be Joan apologizing to him. Frida and Cleo communicated via "eyebrow language" and shared a few laughs over insulting Abe and agreed on ditching him, while they got their own asses out of there. Frida and Cleo's disrespect toward Abe would later become the foundation of their relationship. However, they couldn't abandon him as during their attempt to sneak off, they were all attacked by "zombies" and forced to band together to survive. While getting chased by the zombies, Frida and Cleo climbed Abe to a rock ledge to stay away from them, while Abe was attacked by the zombies, who turned out to actually just be drunk old divorcees, who gave them all advice on how to get to Arroyo Fest. At the concert, Frida and Cleo sat on Abe's shoulders but he cracked under their pressure, since he had gotten a case of accordion legs from all that running around.

In "Sexy-Ed", Abe found out that Frida was now crushing on Cleo and playfully teased her for it. Frida shut Abe up and denied being in love with Cleo.

Principal Scudworth[]

Abe's interactions with Scudworth are limited but mostly unpleasant. Their first direct interaction was in "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc", when Scudworth stripped Abe of his title as basketball team captain in favor of "John Dark", much to Abe's chagrin. Later in the episode, Scudworth discovered John was actually a girl (Joan of Arc) and re-instated Abe as captain again, only for Abe to refuse and pass the buck back to Joan again. In "Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts", Abe fought with Scudworth, when the latter was building a picket fence to keep all raisin-dealers out of Exclamation! U.S.A.. Abe led a bunch of hippies to try and topple his wall with love, while Abe climbed up to fight Scudworth head on. Scudworth whipped Abe with electrified barbed wire and send him falling to the ground, where he got knocked out on a rock.

Julius Caesar[]

Abe is on somewhat friendly terms with Julius Caesar. In "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc", Abe played on the basketball team with him and they had a friendly conversation about sex. Later in the episode, Julius congratulated Abe on helping Joan to win the Homecoming Basketball Game against GESH High School. In "Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts", Julius Caesar smoked raisins with Abe in JFK's Van and later became one of his followers, when Abe started up a new-age hippie revolution. In "Let's Try This Again", Julius Caesar was one of the guys who poured hot wing sauce into Abe's paper cuts.

Genghis Khan[]

Abe Explains the Rules to Genghis

Abe is friends with Genghis Khan. In "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand", he and Gandhi used Genghis to buy beer for them to go to JFK's Party, only for Genghis to fail his task every single time. In "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc", Genghis Khan played on the basketball team with Abe. In "Let's Try This Again", Genghis Khan was shocked to hear about how Abe had been cancelled. In "Grave Mistakes: The Virgin Homicides", Genghis told Abe in the showers about how he had sex before.

Napoleon Bonaparte[]

Abe worked for Napoleon Bonaparte at T.G.I. Chili's in "Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Special", washing dishes in the sink for him. Napoleon was a very mean and demanding boss to Abe, barking out orders to him every five seconds. Abe noted that Napoleon had some kind of a complex, although he didn't know what kind of complex it was. Abe dropped a glass on the ground and Napoleon demanded he eat it. Abe hesitantly ate the broken class, causing him to bleed out the mouth. In "Some Talking but Mostly Songs", Abe co-starred with Napoleon in the production of "Twister: The Game: The Musical", Abe ate a bunch of nachos and then talked with his mouth full to Napoleon, causing him to spit a bunch of chewed up food all over his head.

His Foster Parents[]

Although the series barely gave any screentime to Abe's foster parents, from what we can see based on their brief interactions, Abe is a loving and respectful foster kid to his foster parents, always being obedient and never lying to them. He is mature enough to have a professional relationship with his foster parents as well, seeing them as friends just as much as foster guardians.

In "Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts", Abe was under the influence of raisins, which caused him to act completely out of character, going as far as to lie to his own foster parents, which he never does, and even scream and yell at them. Abe's foster parents were both left speechless at the utter shock of seeing their foster son behave in such a manner, which just goes to show how drugs can completely turn a person into somebody they're not.

In "Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale", Abe asked his foster dad for fatherly advice on his upcoming sexual encounter with Cleopatra. Abe's foster dad began to give him legitimate advice on how abstinence is the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy but then he went off on a tangent about how sexy Cleo is and pressured Abe into thinking this would be his only chance to lose his virginity.

Original Abraham Lincoln[]

Abe Gets a Message from the Original Abraham Lincoln on the Five Dollar Bill

Abe's biggest struggle in the series in living up to the real Abraham Lincoln. Though Abe is intelligent and ethical in his own right he lacks the wisdom, charisma and the strong will the real Lincoln had. Abe has had visions of the real Abraham Lincoln talking to him once after looking at a 5-dollar bill and when he smoked raisins. There are some allusions to the real Lincoln such as Abe's license plate is 1865, the year of Lincoln's assassination and once Abe recited a speech by the real Lincoln to stop Cleo and Joan from fighting.

Mary[]

Mary Tongue Rapes Abe

Abe became the boyfriend of Mary, when she first started coming to school with him in "Money Can Buy Me Love: Stupid Is as Cupid Does". However, Mary would soon become an extremely controlling and domineering girlfriend, who forced Abe to stop being friends with Joan. Mary was able to control Abe by tempting him with sex. In "Grave Mistakes: The Virgin Homicides", Mary was about to finally have sex with Abe, only for it to turn out that she was Bloody Mary and she was going to steal his soul and kill him upon having sex with him. Joan and Abe's other friends saved Abe by chanting "Bloody Mary" 6,969 times to send her back into the Mirror Dimension. However, Abe didn't care about the fact that his life was saved and was just pissed off at Joan for making him miss out on what could have been his one chance of losing his virginity.

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