“ | We've gotta get to Majorca to see a man about some golden pills that will make our doo-doo sparkle. | „ |
- Archibald |
Archibald is the foster father of Confucius. He first appeared in Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus.
Biography[]
In "Sexy-Ed", Confucius threw an unsupervised party at his house and mentioned that his parents would not be there. Supposedly, the absence of his dad was on account of him being in Bali with Jernice, as the latter mentioned in "Spring Broken".
In "Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus", it was Parent Teacher Night at Clone High High School and Principal Scudworth was eagerly waiting to meet Confucius' foster parents to show up, knowing that they were incredibly rich and hoping he could swindle a bunch of money out of them for Cloney Island. Confucius was not expecting his parents to show up, since they were traveling the world. Not wanting to be sent to the freezer, Confucius had Joan pretend to be Jernice, while JFK (later Abe) pretended to be his foster father, Archibald for their interview with Principal Scudworth.
During the meeting, Abe and Joan's cover was blown when the real Jernice and Archibald showed up to the meeting. They were traveling from Monaco to Majorca and needed to stop by their home in America real quick to pick up their racehorses. While they were in town, they decided to quickly stop by and attend the parent-teacher conference. Jernice bribed Principal Scudworth with a bunch of priceless diamonds, emeralds, and gold, telling him to have Confucius graduate at the top of his class and Archibald tipped him with one of his extremely rare purebred racehorses.
Confucius asked his parents if they wanted to join him for fro-yo later but Archibald declined, saying that they needed to go to Majorca to meet a man, who was supposedly going to sell them golden pills that would make their feces sparkle but they gave him a hug instead. Jernice have Confucius some walking around emeralds and also gave Joan some emeralds to thank her for being her foster son's girlfriend. Archibald told Joan that it was great to know what Confuicus had a girl to keep him company, while he and Jernice were gone, which they always were. Joan said that she didn't feel comfortable taking money from them but they ignored her and went on their ways.
In "Cloney Island: Twist!", Confucius and Joan had an argument regarding how Joan rejected the emeralds Jernice gave her and Archibald's reasons for doing so.
Episode Appearances[]
- Sexy-Ed (Indirectly Mentioned)
- Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus
- Cloney Island: Twist! (Mentioned)
Trivia[]
- He has a similar body type to Joan of Arc, while Jernice has a similar body type to Abe Lincoln.
- Ironically, when Abe and Joan pretended to be them in "Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus", Abe was Archibald and Joan was Jernice.