“ | Just my bustles and kerchiefs. The rest of my delicates are festering in my PT Cruiser. | „ |
- Colonel Principal |
Colonel Principal is the principal of GESH High School and the arch-rival of Principal Scudworth. He first appeared in "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc".
Biography[]
In "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc", Clone High High School was going up against GESH High School in a big basketball game. Colonel Principal made a bet with Principal Scudworth that his clones would never be able to score a single point on his genetically modified super humans in the upcoming game. Scudworth accepted this bet and wagered the loser having to do the winner's laundry for a week, which was a big step up from what he wagered in last year's embarrassing loss, which was the ownership of his son, Brian. Colonel Principal also added that after gaining custody of Brian, he killed him and converted his corpse into a bunch of beef, which he later ate.
During the game, the clones of Clone High were eating it miserable and Colonel Principal came up with his bustles and kerchiefs for Principal Scudworth to do, just knowing he was gunna win. However, Joan still scored one point at the end of the game and gave Colonel Principal his nasty, disgusting underwear, that he wore to Burning Man 7 years in a row.
In "A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm", Colonel Principal was at the Principal's Ball, thanking his lucky stars that there was an iron-clad curtain separating the ball from the rest of the Pie Factory it was hosted in, only for the curtain to immediately be torn down by the clones running through and causing a wacky, slapsticky pie fight.
In "Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale", Colonel Principal was one of the attendees of the winter prom, who followed Scudworth's conga line into the flash freezer, getting him frozen in there for the next 20 years.
In "Don't You Get It? Sports Are Huge in This Town", Colonel Principal made a non-speaking cameo, while Clone High was competing against GESH in the snorkeling championship.
Appearance[]
Colonel Principal is a large framed old man with white skin and gray hair, which he wears into a large handlebar mustache and a little goatee beard. He wears a fancy three-piece suit of an ivory and cream colored composition, a large brimmed white hat with a tan stripe on it, yellow scientist gloves, tan shoes, and a red flower in his breast pocket. He also wears a glass monocle over one eye and a black eyepatch over the other.
Personality[]
Colonel Principal is a stereotypical old-western judge type person, whose characterization draws heavily from Senator Claghorn, being an all-american, old fashion-valued patriot of the deep south. Unlike Claghorn, he is also a mad scientist, who believes he can use genetic engineering to create an army of perfectly-constructed superhumans, complete with maximum level strength, intelligence, and agility, to reign supreme over everyone else in the world. He does not agree with Principal Scudworth's plans of cloning historical figures, finding his method of cloning to be laughable, stupid, and destined for failure. This creates a rivalry between the two scientists, with them both competing to see who can raise the better clone army and fulfill the government's wishes in taking over the world.
Episode Appearances[]
- Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc
- A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm
- Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale (Cameo)
- Don't You Get It? Sports Are Huge in This Town (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Trivia[]
- He is a parody on Senator Beauregard Claghorn from the 1940's radio show, "Allen's Alley".
- Colonel Principal's ideas of artificially engineering the perfect superhuman are somewhat similar to Hitler's plans of genetically breeding a race of Aryan people, via selective breeding in lebensborn breeding camps. This is emulated by how the logo of GESH High School strikingly resembles the swastika and Colonel Principal speaking to his students greatly resembles how Hitler would make his speeches to his Nazi army at the Nazi party rally grounds in Nuremberg, Germany.
- Colonel Principal drives a Chrysler PT Cruiser.
- Apparently, he wears women's underwear, as bustles were included in his laundry.