“ | I'm assuming this is for bribes? Archibald and I would like Confucius to graduate, top of his class. | „ |
- Jernice |
Jernice is the foster mother of Confucius. She is a wealthy woman with a hobby of hunting animals. She pampers her foster son with an abundance of luxuries, no matter the expense, but at the same, is very aloof and rarely spends any quality time with him. She first appeared in "Saved by the Knoll". She is voiced by Jana Schmieding.
Biography[]
In "Saved by the Knoll", Confucius went to his mom to ask for tons of money to help fund the reconstruction of The Grassy Knoll. She quickly wrote up a check and immediately gave him all the money, without asking a single question. She was also on the phone at the time, showing just how little attention she pays to him.
In "Spring Broken", she told Confucius via FlipFlop comments, that she was taking his sister and the rest of the family (including Aunt Lindy) to Bali, Indonesia for 2 weeks during spring break. She claimed that she would have taken him too but they wanted to have fun. She added that she left the credit card in the microwave for dinner and warned him not to get lost in the desert during his field trip because if he did, she wouldn't be around the care at all.
In "Sexy-Ed", Confucius threw an unsupervised party at his house and mentioned that his parents would not be there. Supposedly, the absence of his mom was on account of her being in Bali.
In "Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus", it was Parent Teacher Night at Clone High High School and Principal Scudworth was eagerly waiting to meet Confucius' foster parents to show up, knowing that they were incredibly rich and hoping he could swindle a bunch of money out of them for Cloney Island. Confucius was not expecting his parents to show up, since they were traveling the world. Not wanting to be sent to the freezer, Confucius had Joan pretend to be Jernice, while JFK (later Abe) pretended to be his foster father, Archibald for their interview with Principal Scudworth.
During the meeting, Abe and Joan's cover was blown when the real Jernice and Archibald showed up to the meeting. They were traveling from Monaco to Majorca and needed to stop by their home in America real quick to pick up their racehorses. While they were in town, they decided to quickly stop by and attend the parent-teacher conference. Jernice bribed Principal Scudworth with a bunch of priceless diamonds, emeralds, and gold, telling him to have Confucius graduate at the top of his class and Archibald tipped him with one of his extremely rare purebred racehorses.
Confucius asked his parents if they wanted to join him for fro-yo later but they declined, saying that they needed to go to Majorca to meet a man, who was supposedly going to sell them golden pills that would make their feces sparkle but they gave him a hug instead. Jernice have Confucius some walking around emeralds and also gave Joan some emeralds to thank her for being her foster son's girlfriend. Joan said that she didn't feel comfortable taking money from them but they ignored her and went on their ways.
In "Cloney Island: Twist!", Confucius and Joan had an argument regarding how Joan rejected the emeralds Jernice gave her.
Episode Appearances[]
- Saved by the Knoll (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- Spring Broken (Name Only; Communicated Via Text)
- Sexy-Ed (Indirectly Mentioned)
- Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus
- Cloney Island: Twist! (Mentioned)
Trivia[]
- Jernice has a hobby of hunting animals, as seen by portraits of her hunting, as well as the mounted heads of various animals on her walls.
- She has a similar body type to Abe Lincoln, while Archibald has a similar body type of Joan of Arc.
- Ironically, when Abe and Joan pretended to be them in "Cyranos: A Portmant-Opus", Abe was Archibald, while Joan was Jernice.